The Library is temporarily closed for clean-up due to a horde of Daemons holding a book party the evening before. I bet it was that nice customer service rep from Daemon Island who sent you here. Sigh. The communication between doorways is full of static at best.
Unfortunately, the Daemons made a mess of the place. Daemons + Books + Parties + Disco Balls = a lot of slumbering daemons to wake up. Shhhhh. We don’t want to wake them before the coffee is ready. They are not morning sorts.
You’re looking for The Unabridged Story of Daemons? Oh, what a ridiculous tale! No library in their right mind would carry such a tome. Then again we are standing outside an imaginary library within this silly virtual Lair with portals and such. Let me see if it’s available. Hmmm, according to the tablet, it’s currently checked out by a Daemon named Dave Alabasterbuttkins. It’s due to return in a few weeks, so please check back then. *offers broad totally inauthentic smile*
You want an exact date? Goodness me. I’m not supposed to tell you this. I fibbed. I told you a fictional story. It’s still being written. I know. I know! We are doing all we can to get the author to hurry it up. We don’t know why such a short silly story is taking so long. You ask me, she’s taking her sweet bippy of a time about it. Oh! Want to hear a little juicy tidbit. Remember, you didn’t hear this from me. I heard it from Dan who heard it from Abigail who heard it from Robert that the big guy upstairs hand-picked a handbasket for her. Why? Something about giving away Heaven’s secrets and some nonsense about God needing a therapist, as if. Heaven’s marketing team has had to work overtime because of her. Isn’t it scandalous? Well, anyway, you didn’t hear any of this from me. All I can tell you is to check back soon. I’m sure it won’t be long now.