It’s been a rough few days emotionally in the Swartz Haus.
Sunday, I had a nasty case of crabby pants. I sent myself to bed early. I did allow for supper because sending my crunchy self to bed without supper would have made me much worse.
Yesterday was better. I locked myself in the Lair. I had a bed of hot irritation that wouldn’t have taken much to erupt into flames & spew upon any unsuspecting household member. It’s better not to spew flames & leave your loved ones a smoking pile of WTAF just happened. Don’t ask me how I know.
I could hear the laundry yelling that it needs washing. The dishes joined in with lots of clanking & clanging. I heard the drums of a dust bunny hoard on the march. In that hot moment, I didn’t care. In fact, I decided to let them have a grand battle & I would clean up the aftermath. If the dishes & clothes get rowdy, they’ll wash one another while tussling. The dust bunny hoard would be swept up in the water. That would take care of them for the day. Hmm, if only. I can dream. Oh, yes, I can dream.
My journal bore the brunt of my anger. There are scorched capital letters written with the fire I felt. Writing is still one of the best tools to help sort & sift my feelings.
There were bright spots within the last few days. Of course, there were!
Found a sale at Menards on shelves that were the exact price I wanted to pay.
Bun & the Hubs put the first coat of paint on the trim in the future Man Cave. The room looks so different!
We found new recipes to try for breakfast. The first one is eggs & avocado on toast. It tastes better than I thought it would. I honestly gave it a mild hairy eyeball before putting a forkful in the mouth. I finally get what folks mean when they talk about texture. Something about the mix of avocado & sunnyside up egg is wyrd. The only tweak would be one slice of toast with avocado & two eggs on top. I’ll stick to my over-easy next time. One could do a poached egg or even a hard-boiled egg. We have Berrylicious Muffins in a Cup & oatmeal squares to try yet.
I cleaned up the Lair. The Lair is happier now.
Instead of working on Bun’s doll, I re-worked the first chapter of The Black Swamp Gourdess’ Unabridged Story of Daemons. I’m at a sticking point as far as tying some chapters together so I re-read it. That’s when I found big gaps that needed filling. I tweaked Chapter 1 & I love it even more than before! And if I can pull off footnotes in the manner I’d like to in print form, well, I’d be a happy camper.
I’ve got that pins & needles feeling, waiting for the next shoe to drop. How many shoes do we have anyway? There has to have been more than a closetful just in 2020 not to mention the last four years.
I have several books on my wish list. These are the top two:
Ordinary Men: Reserve Police Battalion 101 and the Final Solution in Poland by Christopher R. Browning was recommended by my niece-in-law.
Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America by Ijeoma Oluo. I read her book So You Want to Talk About Race. It was/is eye-opening.
Reading & continuing to educate ourselves on history & reading black/brown/POC authors is one of many things a white person can do to support the dismantling of our systematic racism. If January 6th showed me one thing it’s this; just because the people spoke & voted, the problems within our society are not going to *poof* & disappear. We, especially white people, have so much work to do. We can never put our heads in the sand again.