Chapter Nine Okay, Karen

Chapter 9

Okay, Karen

Mabel decided to march themselves right up to the podium where Saint Peter (Karen in drag) stood.

“Hiya!” Mabel screeched.

“State your name and I shall see if you are in the great book!” Saint Peter Karen boomed.

And like all typical Karen types, she muttered loud enough for Mabel to hear, “You don’t LOOK like you belong here.”

Mabel, a rather feisty daemon with flames for eyes squinted and pulled a feather from Saint Peter Karen’s wing. They used the pointed end to pick out bits of something from between their sharp teeth.

“OUCH!” Saint Peter Karen screamed. “Why, YOU NO GODLY…. WHAT?!”

Becky was pulling at her robes and pointed to Karen’s face. “Your beard slipped. The gig is up.”

Mabel’s eyes turned a cool yellow, “Really. You don’t think I belong here? What’s with the get-up Angel Pants. Since when do angels do drag? Humans are so much better at it.”

By this time, the rest of the daemons had lumbered over to watch the shenanigans unfold.1Shenanigans, hooey, and hootenanny are enjoyed by most daemons, but there is an addictive quality to it for the rogue daemons. They simply can’t help themselves and therefore must join in or at the very least stoke the flames, poke the bear or see just how far they can push it. There has been many a human who has rued the day they engaged in a round of hijinks with a daemon.Karen tossed the beard off, straightened her halo, and puffed herself up with as much privilege as she could muster.

“I am an Angel. You are a low-life, human hugging rogue daemon spawn of lowercase h-e-l-l. You don’t belong anywhere near these Holiest and Pearliest of gates.” She sneered, “Go away!”

“Check the book.” Mabel countered with flashing orange eyes.

“I am NOT ‘checking the book’!” Karen dripped with sarcasm. “You aren’t in…”

Becky tugged on her sleeve and pointed to the book. They could hardly believe their angelic eyes. Mabel’s name along with Rachel’s and all the other daemons standing before them was written in Saint Peter’s famous flourish filled scrawl.

Karen spluttered. Becky stared with her mouth open. Once your name appears within the Great Book, the pearly gates open. Karen and Becky could hear the bolts and gears moving into position. Then, slow like molasses pouring, the Pearly Gates creaked open. And, those ten or so daemons led by Mabel and Rachel sashayed themselves right on through.2Dear Reader, you might be wondering how could or would the names of those very daemons appear in the Holy Big Book? As mentioned in the previous footnote, not only do these daemons love some good shenanigans, they seem to be possessed with a hellish ability to dazzle angels causing them to see things that aren’t really there. You can imagine the confusion and shock when Karen and Becky realized what happened and exactly who they allowed to enter heaven. There was a mighty thunderstorm with skin slashing rain and cutting hail over Northwest Ohio when God got wind of what happened. 2The humans below were of three minds over the storm. It was either a sign from God that the end was nigh. It was that global warming thing scientists like to yammer on about. Or, aliens were indeed real and wanted their brains for hors d’oeuvres. Most leaned towards the aliens are real theory