The Daemon: “I’d like to start by telling you my name.”
Me: “I thought we weren’t going to do that.”
The Muses: Giggling behind three pairs of clawed hands. I give them a stern glare.
The Daemon: “It’s important. And, I want a little bio, an introduction if you will… as you’d see on a dating site. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
The look on my face is a cross between incredulous, a light bulb has gone off & exasperation.
The Daemon: “ I rather like Claude.”
Me: “Fine, Claude. Whatever you want.”
Claude smiled disturbingly wide with a mouth full of glinting sharp teeth.
Me: “Stop smiling at me like that. Okay, so let’s hear your bio.” Jesus Take The Wheel I’m going to regret asking.
Claude presented a piece of paper, typed in what I can only describe as chicken scratch.
It read: “Hello. My name is Claude. I’m a scrawny red Daemon into hairy big toes, writing poetry & crooning 50’s love songs in hot places. If you like a great pair of horns (wink wink) and long lashes then I’m the one for you! Please bring ample baby oil.”
Me: “Uhm… NO! I don’t think that’s the direction we want to go. Muses?”
The Muses were picking Gawd knows what from their teeth & ignored me.
Me: “Look. You’re all about empowerment & standing in the truth of who you are and… and… Damnit!”
Claude: “Exactly. So if I’m into collecting hairy big toes er, I mean liking them & crooning in hot places, then I’m being true to myself which is the whole point of my existence & setting a good example.”
Claude: “And furthermore, stop trying to cute & flufffify me.”
Me: “First, point taken & fluffify is not a real word. Second, I don’t know. That’s so random & strange & weird. Oh Holy Hell, let me think about this. Meeting adjourned.”