A Black Swamp Gourdess

Oh hello!  I didn’t hear you come in.  That darn two dog alarm system needs an upgrade.

Since you’re here, have a seat.  Oh, yeah.  We’re doing this virtually so you’re already seated.  You have stumbled your way into my secret lair hidden in the Flatlands of NW Ohio formerly known as The Great Black Swamp.

No.  You can’t find it.  No, you can’t live here with me.  No, I’m not hiring for minion jobs.  Sheesh.

Oh.  You want to know more about me?  Really?  I’m not that fascinating. Oh, stop it.  No, I’m not.  Okay.  I’ll tell you a bit.

I love to tell a tall tale, cartoon & create dolls from hard shell gourds.  Nope, there’s nothing for sale at this time.  I shut the business end of things down in 2018 because I needed a break & time to figure a few things out.  Of course, 2020 had to come along & put a COVID Cootie wrench into everything.

For now, I’m letting the Muses by the nose.1I don’t have just one. I have triplets who look suspiciously like Betty White.  The path is a twisty one with dolls sparking stories that infuse conversations within a dream that is yet another tall tale that wants telling & a surprising visit back to the root of it all, cartooning.

Consider this space a peek into my life. Do I have something big and profound to say?  I don’t know.  Maybe, if you squint hard enough.  I’ve been told I have a way with words & a way of looking at things through the lens of quirky humor. If you need a break from stuffs you’re more than welcome to pop in.2Virtually!  I’m still not telling you where my hidden lair is.  Hidden meaning no one knows.  You can’t find me. Ha ha ha ha & all that Hopefully, it will provide a bit of a reprieve.  What I do know for certain is that a creative outlet is cheaper than therapy, fills me up, and makes me laugh.  I think irreverent, cheeky, playful, side-eye humor & footnotes3Look for the footnotes! You can read them by clicking on them. For desktop use the mouse & for mobile or touchscreen devices use your finger. No, it doesn’t matter which one.  Sure, you could use a toe or a thumb but I wouldn’t recommend it. are the bees’ knees.4Or maybe I should say the bees’ butts because pictures of bee bottoms covered in pollen is a thing now, super adorable & no one wants to look at bees’ knees.

Geezuss, you want to know more?  Alright.  Here are a few fun factoids:

By day, I am a Lady of Lunch bouncing about The Land of Lunch at a local school.
Pet Hooman of 5 felines & 2 canines.
Favorite color is purple (deep dark purple) add swash of orange & I’m swooning.
I am an unabashed fan of ’80s/’90s/2000 & up club music.
Ditto the above for Boulet Brother’s Dragula.
I love mind-bendy outside of the box people.
I will have a VW minibus one day.  I WILL!
I can inhale ice cream at an unholy speed without nary a brain freeze. It’s a curse & blessing.
I can’t hold a tune or note but caterwaul with the best of them.
I enjoy music at ear blistering levels.
I love shoes that are wearable works of art. I can’t wear them but I love them!
I love teenagers.  Really. Really.
I’m in touch with my inner teenager way too much.
I’ve been grounded to my room by my kids for being too hooeyish.

And finally, I offer you this Haiku.  It sums up how I try to look at the world.

The Door Knob
I grasp the cold brass.
What lies behind the doorway?
Magic or mundane?
©Tracy Swartz January 16, 2010